2015

Well here we are; one year on.

One year ago today I finally found the courage to start my own blog. It's been an odd time with varying success on what I've posted, with a lovely existential crisis in the middle.

I thought today I would look back on the last 365 days and reflect on what's changed since I first started rambling all over this little corner of the internet.

Gonna be a long'un folks, I can feel it in my bones.



Let's kick it all off with a look back at that very first post. I was right in saying that one year on, "any changes I make will be minimal". I am very much the same person I was a year ago. As I said in my "Learning to Love Yourself" post (this is gonna be full of plugs just so you're aware from the get-go), my self confidence has really begun to grow and I feel a lot happier about myself but other than that, 21 year old Tilly and 22 year old Tilly still have a lot in common.

My one thing I wanted to try was to be more positive. I really think I've done this. I got super into getting rid of negative energy in my life in general at one point and that didn't last long but I definitely feel much better about going about my day and getting through uni etc. I even created a pinterest board all about positivity (another plug, soz) and it's already helping masses.

I said last year that "January 2016 will also mark the halfway point of my degree and so I truly hope by this time I have nailed getting myself organised.". That's real cute, Til. Of course I havent done this. I'm actually writing this on Boxing Day because come New Year's Day I'll probably be stressing out about the fact I have two assignments due in on the 4th (at this moment in time I have yet to start them - I HAVE VALID EXCUSES which I'll get to later).

I really tried to keep this blog going all year but life just got in the way and I'm sorry. I'm actually very proud of what I have done here but I'll try so much harder this year, I promise. Maybe. Hopefully.

So, 2015. What a year. It's honestly been one of the best I can remember so lets take a lil trip down old memory lane, shall we?

It's weird to think that when I wrote that first post, I was a few days away from my first uni placement and now I have two in the bag.

My first placement got off to a really good start and I was having a great time until my second observation came around and everything went wrong. It's a very long story but it was a massive knock on my confidence as a teacher, which meant I went into my second placement in November almost dreading it.

My second placement is in a Nursery class (where as in January I was in a Reception class), and when I found out I was so disappointed. I've got very little Nursery experience and it's never been my favourite year group. I pulled myself out of my initial funk and went in with an open mind because, the way I saw it, I could come out of there loving Nursery. As it turns out, I was right. 3 year olds are not my forte. The kids are lovely but naaaaah not for me. Having said that, I go back for 6 weeks in April and I really am excited to see them all again. It's a very confusing time.

In March, I sorted out my house for second year with three of my friends, two of which I lived in halls with already. We live in a cottage which backs on to Richmond Park. It sounds a lot fancier and cuter than it actually is. It's not a student house, as in we got it through a grown-up estate agent and it's very scary and very ADULT. We moved in in June and got to go on many an IKEA trip to fill it with our personalities. I've really grown to love our cold little house.

First year went so quickly and now it's second year and everything MATTERS and the pressure is real.

In April I FINALLY said goodbye to my part time job in a well-known supermarket that I hated so very much. It was a bittersweet day because I was so happy to be free from the horrendous customers and 8 hours solid standing but I'd made some good friends in the two and a half years I was there. Also having money is something I took for granted, wow.

The main reason I haven't started my assignments is because I went back to The Supermarket for two weeks between finishing uni and Christmas. I was in nearly everyday so I barely had time to eat, let alone settle down for some intense essay writing. It was hell but I survived and come the end of January - hashtag payday- I'll be very glad I did it.

While I was away at uni having The Best Time, my friendship group at home fell spectacularly apart. My 19-strong girl group was suddenly divided and I still don't understand why. I mean, I know where it all roots from but I don't know how it got to this point. I suddenly had only, really, 3 friends at home but it was for the best because those girls are my best friends in the world now and we've gotten so close we're getting matching tattoos. I know. I know. It's subtle don't worry.

We saw the other girls out on Christmas Eve (I live in a very small town) and it was all very civil and we spoke to each other but one of the girls straight up blanked me and it sucked, to be honest, because a year and a half ago she was one of my closest friends.

TOO DEEP TOO DEEP. Let's move onto something more exciting!
[but first do you wanna go get a drink or something? I've been rabbiting on for a long time already, if you need a breather that's cool. I'll just see you back here in like 3 minutes]

I applied on a whim to volunteer at Summer in the City and I got an email in July saying they wanted me!

It was the weirdest weekend of my life, I can't even begin to describe it. It was also the best time and I can't wait to go back this year. I wrote a full in-depth account of it all over on my tumblr, if ya wanna take a peek. I got to meet so many people I love and even had my opinions changed. It was exhausting to the point where I got home and burst into tears for no reason one night, but it was so worth it. I encourage anyone to apply to volunteer, it's such a fun tiiiiime.

September brought a holiday to Paris with my gal pals which I briefly wrote about in my Magic of Disney post. It was the perfect week away and I miss it a lot. I laughed more that week than I had in a long time.

Then I turned 22 (lots of Taylor Swift was played that day) and I feel like an actual real life adult now and it's terrifying.

So. 2016.

This year, 2 of my cousins and my sister are getting married. I'm going to be a Bridesmaid! I've been helping to organise my sister's hen do and I've never felt more important than I did emailing a manager of a nightclub.

We got fitted for our bridesmaids dresses in October and it was a down day if I'm honest. The actual choosing the dress thing was so exciting but when it came to be measured up all my insecurities exploded.

Forgetting that thought, I can't wait for the wedding. We have surprises planned and if we can pull one part of it off, it's going to be amazing.

I don't think I have any real resolutions for this year other than "onwards and upwards", I guess. I want to keep building on the personal progress I've made in the last 12 months already and maybe by January 1st 2017 I'll be the best version of myself.

God, I graduate in 2017. Oh man. LET'S NOT THINK ABOUT THAT RIGHT NOW.

Thank you so much for reading, especially those who have stuck with me all year through all the ups and downs.

Hope you all had a lovely holiday season, whatever you celebrate, and that 2016 is full of bright things!

Lots of Love!

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