Learning to Love Yourself.

Hello! Welcome back! Sorry it's been so long - again. I finished uni and took a step back from anything even slightly productive to give myself a well-earned rest.

Yesterday I got back from a week in Ireland with my family and it was there that I made an important discovery: I finally love myself.

Not in a weird want-to-marry-myself way, but after 10+ years of struggling, I looked in the mirror and I liked what I saw. I spoke briefly about this journey a while ago, but it's about to get real deep. Grab your snorkels everyone.

For as long as I can remember, I have looked in the mirror and hoped to be 4 stone lighter with smaller hips and thighs. I would go to bed wishing to wake up in someone else's body or, being the nerd I am, hope I would somehow inherit a magical power to reshape myself like a playdough model. I had no confidence whatsoever and would cover up my big upper arms and stomach and there was absolutely no way I would go swimming with my friends for fear of them seeing my cellulite-y legs. I even cut the size label out of my cardigans and jumpers in case my friends saw. I felt ashamed to be The Big Girl.

I don't know what's changed all of a sudden but I don't care anymore. I would stand in the middle of the high street and shout that I, Tilly, wear size 14-16 clothes and I don't care who knows it.

Admittedly, I have recently lost half a stone but (and please no one hate me for this) I haven't been trying to. Maybe all that "puppy fat" everyone else lost in year 6 is on it's way out.

I stood in front of the big mirror in my cousin's bathroom 4 days ago and I felt content. I don't mind the fact I have cellulite, I don't care that I have stretch marks on my belly. I'm over the fact I have hips that go out and back in "the wrong places".

I know self-love is something a lot of young people struggle with and I've complied a teeny list of things you can try to begin your journey to looking in the mirror and thinking "Yep. I look okay".

1. Self acceptance - The first and MOST IMPORTANT STEP is this one. It's also, however, the hardest. Before you can start to love how you look, you need to at least accept it. This is who you are. You're great just the way you've turned out. If there are things you want to change and they're (in your eyes) achievable, by all means go for it. If it'll bring you one step closer to accepting the wonderful person you are, it's worth it.
2. It's all about baby steps - Don't expect it to happen overnight. I wore a bikini in front of my friends for the first time three years ago. Take it a step at a time and take as long as you need.
3. Don't compare yourself to others - This one really speaks for itself. Don't worry about what the people around you look like. We're not all made from the same mould. If we all looked the same life would be boring. Also, I'm sure a movie or a book has been based on that idea. Yawnsville.
4. Get some decent role models - Ladies this is mostly for you (from my personal experience). Start looking up to people who can really help you make a change to your outlook on life. Ignore the "plus size" models in the magazines and the actresses in movies. Look further afield. I've recently been so inspired by Gracie (uglyfaceofbeauty on youtube). I used to watch her beauty videos - the first one I ever saw was her "Blind Makeup" video; hilarious - but more recently I've found her a vital source for finding that inner happiness. She's a wonderful role model for us "plus sized" girls and, most recently, posted her first ever full body, bikini photos on her instagram. I would love to have the huge levels of confidence she does. Also she's not afraid to say when's she having a bad day which is equally important as showing off that confidence. The second person who I look up to is - shocker - Louise. Sprinkle of Glitter. She's just wonderful. She's fully accepted the way she is and isn't afraid to flaunt what she's got. She's helped me so much in the last 3 years, I owe her everything. Finally my friend Molly has always been so confident and inspiring, I wish I was more like her, (I'll ask her if she minds if I link her in so you can get some of her greatness - it really rubs off on you) LOVE YOU MOL. EDIT: here's the link to her body positivity tag on her tumblr. And here's her "face tag", aint she a beaut.

I think that's everything. One again, this got longer and deeper than I wanted it to but it's something extremely important and close to my heart.

Just remember, you are absolutely perfect as you are, don't change for anyone. 

Lots of love! Thanks for reading!

Plugs
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