Pinterest and other plugs...

Hello!

After about 2 years of having an account and downloading-deleting-redownloading the app, I am finally getting to grips with Pinterest. For a long time I just didn't understand the point of it but I've fallen into the realms of OBSESSED.

I've been pinning like a mad woman and I've got BOARDS. So exciting.

I'm still very much a novice at this game but I'm going to start using it as inspiration for future blogs as well as "magpie-ing" (a school word for stealing someone else's ideas) pictures and other lovely things as well.

THE POINT IS follow me would you please? I also need people to follow so I'll absolutely be stalking the boards of new arrivals!

You can find me at pinterest.com/lalalatilly or search @lalalatilly on the app!

oooohhhhhh look at dem pinz


SECONDLY
Bloglovin is a thing,yo. I can literally spend forever scrolling down and reading all of the blogs I follow there and I get daily emails of who's uploaded what as well as suggested blogs and posts. You can have ALL THIS from yours truly if you follow me here!  https://www.bloglovin.com/blogs/raise-your-hopeful-voice-14245829
This is such a shameless plug I'm so sorry but y'know gals gotta do what a gals gotta do.

Also since I changed my url all those months ago, my followers haven't been showing up, so really I need you to do so as an experiment. For science.

Finally (this is longer than I expected it to be, soz), all my posts are set to automatically post on twitter and tumblr. So if you couldn't give two hoots about bloglovin, you can follow me over there instead! I'm so thoughtful that way.

Here is my twitter, and here is my tumblr (hope you like gifs of the office!).

That's enough plugging for one day.

I feel like I've apologised too many times for this on-going absence BUT I'm planning to make a, probably anticlimactic, return to blogging in the new year! Weeoooo. On January 1st this blog turns one year old so I will definitely be honouring it in some way.

Until then, see ya later chicaz.

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

I feel very sheepish posting something after such a long silence but say no more on with the show!

Ok I know it’s still only November but in 3 days it will FINALLY be socially acceptable to start feeling christmassy. I’m currently home alone and I suddenly remembered that one of my favourite Christmas movies is on Netflix and I nearly cried with joy then proceeded to list the movies I definitely will binge-watch this festive seasons.

So without further ado, in no particular order (because WHO can honestly pick a favourite), here they are. 





The Santa Clause is the film that almost reduced me to tears not even half an hour ago. It’s a film that has been a part of my Christmas “routine” – if you will – for as long as I can remember. It’s also usually the first Christmas movie I watch every year. It’s so heart-warming and watching Tim Allen adapt to being Santa is just wonderful uuhhhhh no words.  I think the main reason I love it so much is because in my mind, this could happen. One year, you could accidentally make Santa fall off the roof and have to take his place. YOU DON’T KNOW. Also I love Tim Allen so it’s win-win.





The Muppets’ Family Christmas has also been in my family since I was very little. I’m always surprised to hear that not many people have seen it. Somehow they all end up going to Fozzie’s for Christmas and all hell breaks loose in classic Muppet fashion. There’s one joke in the movie that kills my dad every time and it’s so dumb. It’s literally someone telling people as they come in to “look out for the icy patch!” but they always always slip on it anyway. So dumb but oh my god still so funny.


It sort of goes hand in hand with The Muppets’ Christmas Carol, which EVERYONE (hopefully) KNOWS. We tend to watch both every Christmas Eve and just the thought of it gives me warm fuzzy Christmas feels.





Do I even need to mention Love Actually? Richard Curtis, man. God damn. Emma Thompson crying on her own in her room to Joni Mitchell. Oh man. When the little boy and Liam Neeson run through Heathrow. WHEN COLIN FIRTH LEARNS PORTUGESE JUST TO ASK AURELIA OUT GOD THIS MOVIE IS WONDERFUL.





Look Who’s Talking Now is the third movie in the WILDLY UNDERRATED Look Who’s Talking series. Not enough people have seen it. It’s got John Travolta in it for Pete’s sake. My favourite scene is when they sing the Chipmunk Christmas song to cheer up the son. And there are talking dogs. It’s just great I promise watch it please. But watch the first movie…first. The second one isn’t as great so feel free to skip it but they’re GREAT MOVIES TRUST ME.





Alright let’s talk about Polar Express. I don’t know where to start. It’s such a lovely film that still feels so magical no matter how many times I’ve seen it. Admittedly I’m not a huge fan of some of the characters and there’s one scene I could do without (when the boy is on top of the train; you know it) but it’s lovely and very hashtag relatable and it just gives you hope that when the day comes/came that you stop believing that you could be wrong? THE BELL STILL RINGS FOR ME. I WANT IT TO RING. Well those are references that you won’t get if you haven’t seen the movie so I’ll guess you’ll have to now HUH.





Flint Street Nativity isn’t technically a film because I think it was just on TV like 15 years ago but it’s still hilarious. It’s basically a bunch of British comedy actors like Frank Skinner, Ralf Little and Jane Horrocks playing 7 year old children in a school nativity play. Yep it’s a stupid as it sounds. We recently found that you could buy it on DVD and it was the best day. It’s about the behind the scenes drama and classic kid fights (the girl playing angel Gabriel wants to be Mary because Debbie Bennett isn't pretty enough to be Mary). Oh my god I wish it was floating around  on youtube somewhere. It's so stupid but so brilliant. 





Last but not least, Barney: Waiting for Santa. ALRIGHT stop judging please. Barney the Dinosaur has been my favourite children’s TV character forever, let me have this moment. In this movie he picks up some kids and takes them to the North Pole to help a new boy in town who is worried that Santa doesn’t know where he lives now. It makes me very happy. Admittedly there’s a scene where Barney comes down the chimney that used to scare me so much that I’d have to hide behind a pillow but did it stop me knowing all the songs to the day? Of course not. And this IS ON YOUTUBE (that picture quality screams early 90's).

And there it is. A typically much longer run down than expected of my all-time favourite Christmas Movies.


Maybe I can wean myself back into blogging by doing Christmassy themed things between now and then. Who knows.


I’ll see ya when I see ya.

The Magic of Disney

Last Thursday (September 10th) I went to Disneyland Paris with some friends and it was the best day ever.

They say Disneyland is the "happiest place on earth" and, although this was my 4th time at a Disney park, this was the first time I ever truly felt it.

As soon as I saw the gates I became a child again. I was filled with excitement and adrenaline and all I wanted to do was run around like a mad man. Something about the atmosphere and the music playing down Main Street makes all of your trouble disappear. For the first time in months I wasn't thinking about how much money I don't have and how desperately I need a job, but I was able to fully immerse myself into Disney magic and have a wonderful day with my best friends.

The four of us have had varying hard and stressful times in the last year and we all collectively decided that just by simply being in the Disney park, we all felt at peace.

I don't know if it was our pure love for Disney that brought us this inner serenity - if you will - but I could really do with some of Walt's magic more often.


It's not you, it's me.

I'm taking a break from blogging. Indefinitely.

I'm sure I'll be back one day but the truth is I've fallen out of love with it. I've lost all inspiration and lost sight of why I was doing this in the first place.

I've also hidden my latest post because I wasn't happy with it and ever since it went up I've had horrible anxiety about it.

I am so so grateful for all the kind words I've recieved about my posts (especially Learning to Love Yourself) and all the support I've had from my friends but I desperately need to take a step back and lose all the pressure I've been putting on myself to churn out content.

7 months is a good run, right?

I don't know why I decided to do this at 6am.

Inspiration

After watching Jack Howard's video about inspiration it really made me think about what my intentions are with this blog.

He said something along the lines of "if you like something so much, why mirror it?" and that really struck a chord with me.

As I plan and write posts, I always, somewhere inside me, have an awareness of what's already out there. I strive to fit in with the bloggers because I know that's what's already accepted. I've had several ideas that I've immediately dismissed because I haven't seen it elsewhere but why? If I want to make an impression I can't be churning out the same old thing as every other blogger out there. I have to do what I want, without a fear of not fitting in. 

Of course I'll still do the odd post which has been inspired or triggered by something but I should be less concerned about everything having a purpose. I should be able to inspire myself sometimes.

If I want to one day to share any weird or wonderful thought I've had I should. I shouldn't think "this isn't long enough to be its own post" because WHY NOT?! Who set this unspeakable rule in me that made me thought I need hundreds and hundreds of words.

I'm sorry if this is a bit disjointed or all over the place it's 11pm and I'm already in bed; I had to get this down before I slept and forgot it all.

As I turn this new page, don't forget to follow me on bloglovin so you know when these new pointless posts come about. Follow me on twitter for my multiple plugs and on instagram because why the hell not?!




Getting Tingles

Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response (or ASMR) is something that I actually discovered by accident.

A youtube guilty pleasure of mine is children's make up tutorials. Yep. 7 year-olds with an iPhone putting on make up. God, now I've said it out loud (I guess??) it sounds so weird but it's not! Please tell me I'm not the only one who does this...

One day I stumbled across this video and at first I thought she was whispering because she didn't want to be heard talking to her camera in her bathroom. But as I went down the comments, I kept seeing the term "ASMR" popping up (somehow I'd missed it in the title!) and I decided to look further into it. As it turns out there is an entire ASMR WORLD ON YOUTUBE.

If you can think of an appointment that can be role-played in an ASMR style, it's probably been done. Make-up tutorials, dentist appoinments, cranial nerve examination; everything.

The definition of ASMR (according to wikipedia, that super-reliable source) is as a "perceptual phenomenon characterised as a distinct, pleasurable tingling sensation...in response to visual, auditory, tactile, olfactory (smells) or cognitive stimuli". These tingles are generally felt in their head, limbs and back. Personally, it happens for me at the top of my back in between my shoulder blades and it's a feeling I can't describe. 

It's all about soft sounds as well as specific things that "trigger" the ASMR feeling, such as tapping, clicking etc.

I've found more and more triggers as I get deeper into it. For someone who hates chewing sounds, the sound of a cough drop in someone's mouth is a recently discovered new trigger.

One of my biggest triggers is page turning sounds. I have a really vivid memory of when I was around 12/13 and I was sitting with my friend as she was looking through her exercise book and as I watched her turn the pages my eyes started to get heavy. At the time I didn't realise what was happening to me but now it all makes sense. I have to watch a 50 minute video of page turning/paper sounds in several goes because I keep falling asleep. I still haven't got all the way to the end!

If ever I'm struggling to sleep or can't get my brain to switch off, I whack on an ASMR video, stick my earphones in and usually within 10 minutes I'm so relaxed I could sleep for days.

I'm pretty much obsessed at this point and I will watch at least one video a night before I go to bed.

I've recently been favouring those videos with "binaural" in the title. These ones in particular are filmed using a special microphone so you can hear the sounds move from one ear to the other. For me, it accelerates the tingles by 1000%

Here are a few of my recent favourites that I keep going back to!

Binaural Makeup Roleplay - whisperslily

Makeup Roleplay -Nia M

Binaural Makeup Roleplay - whisperflower

I should mention that apparently it may not work for everyone. But give it a try, look around and you never know what could make those tingling feelings happen!

Let me know how you get on in the comments, I'd love to hear what other people's triggers are!

Thanks for reading.
Lots of love!

p.s. do you know how hard it is to title a post like this so as not to give it away but also without sounding so wrong? My initial idea was "Nighttime Tingles". Good job I heard it before it was too late.

Dont forget to follow me on bloglovin!

June Favourites!

Hello and Happy Sunday!

When I first started this blog, I explicitly said that THIS IS NOT A BEAUTY BLOG, yet here I sit writing a post so commonly associated with that genre. Truth is, I love these types of posts (and youtube videos) and for the first time this I've been able to gather enough things to do one of my own.

Without further ado, let's kick this thing off shall we?

First off is this notebook I was given for my birthday last September. As soon as I opened it I was so excited to use it but I had no idea what for. I didn't want to waste its beautiful clean plain pages. It's been sitting on my shelf for the last 6 months until I dusted it off and started using it to plan my blog posts! I keep it in my bag for those moments an idea for a new post pops into my head. It's become my best friend and I'll never forget an idea again! And it's so cute! IT HAS A FELT COVER.



Despite having bought it almost 3 months ago, last week I finally finished The Miniaturist by Jessie Burton. I had no idea what to expect when I started reading this but it is so addictive. The prologue takes place after everything else in the book and I loved working my way through and piecing everything together. There's twists all over the place - so much so I found myself having to put the book down and regather my thoughts before reading the aftermath. It's so so brilliantly gripping I can't recommend it more.



In terms of TV shows there are two oldies I've really gotten into in the last month.

After hearing so much about it for as long as I can remember, I finally gave in and started watching the US version of The Office. I'm at the end of season 6 now and I've been working on a solid season-a-week. I know so many things that are still to come but I have no intention of slowing down. I've never become so attached to characters so quickly. I'm about 96% sure Jim Halpert is the love of my life.

Secondly, I've started watching Sex and The City. I did this in the complete wrong order and I've already seen both of the movies so I know how it ends but do I care? My housemates and I worked our way through seasons one and two in two days. Yikes. It's incredibly easy to watch and I love it so much. However, it's not on Netflix and I'm about 25 miles away from the box set. Really feeling some withdrawal here.

Speaking of housemates - seamless segue Tilly, well done - I've recently moved into my house for the next two years whilst I finish my degree. All of our rooms were bare canvases and we've spent the last two weeks (and a lot of money) on making them feel at home. We visited IKEA the other day and I picked up this rug. We had one just like this when I was growing up and as soon as I saw it I wanted it. It makes me feel a lot me comfortable and homey with it there. And its super super soft I could lie on it all day. AND it was only £10. A
steal!



We're gonna actually slip into some beauty favourites now. Who am I?

First up is my treasured Zoeva Nude Palette. I've had this almost a year now but I've become stuck on using the same 3 colours day in, day out. In the last few weeks I've started venturing away from the beiges and browns and into purples! I've found a new wave of adoration for this palette and its an absolute staple in my everyday make up routine. It's made up of 28 different nude shades, both matte and shimmer and they're an absolute dream to work with. It only cost me around £20-£25 but it doesn't appear to be available on their website anymore which is such a shame! I've found two smaller palettes (Cocoa Blend and Naturally Yours) which contain most of the same colours, if you're interested!



The first photo is what it looked like when it arrived, the second is it now. As you can see it's been very well-loved. No points for those who can spot my go-to colours....

Next is matte nails. This is something I've been desperate to try and on a whim I picked up this Pure Colour Matte Top Coat at the tills at New Look. It's only £2.99 and it works perfectly. No need to splash out on a £10 Essie topcoat (no offense, Essie, you do a great job. My student budget just can't handle it)! I'm currently wearing it over the top of Barry M's Speedy  polish in the colour Pit Stop. I love pairing pastel colours with a matte topcoat - perfect for summer in my opinion.



Finally I have a favourite place. Is that a thing the beauty bloggers do as well?
My housemates sister came to stay last week and since we were all on a budget, we booked (for free!) to go up to the Sky Garden in Fenchurch Street. It's right on top of the Walkie Talkie building and it's amazing. You have 360 degree views of the city all whilst surrounded by an indoor tropical rainforest. I discovered up there that I really like The Shard. Yes, it looks unfinished at the top, but you've got to admit it's impressive.



Whilst being free to get in, the prices at the Brasserie are quite high - £4 for a Diet Coke?! I think not! Maybe bring a packed lunch if you want to eat with a view...

Well that's it. My first ever monthly favourites! I hope you enjoyed this little insight into my brain - a free pass to be nosey, if you will!

Thank you so much for reading. Leave a comment with book suggestions (I'm always lost after I finish one) or TV suggestions or anything you've loved this month. Or don't; up to you. Free country and that.

Don't forget to follow me on bloglovin' for updates!



**Apologies for the poor-quality photos. All I have is my iPhone. Eek.**

Learning to Love Yourself.

Hello! Welcome back! Sorry it's been so long - again. I finished uni and took a step back from anything even slightly productive to give myself a well-earned rest.

Yesterday I got back from a week in Ireland with my family and it was there that I made an important discovery: I finally love myself.

Not in a weird want-to-marry-myself way, but after 10+ years of struggling, I looked in the mirror and I liked what I saw. I spoke briefly about this journey a while ago, but it's about to get real deep. Grab your snorkels everyone.

For as long as I can remember, I have looked in the mirror and hoped to be 4 stone lighter with smaller hips and thighs. I would go to bed wishing to wake up in someone else's body or, being the nerd I am, hope I would somehow inherit a magical power to reshape myself like a playdough model. I had no confidence whatsoever and would cover up my big upper arms and stomach and there was absolutely no way I would go swimming with my friends for fear of them seeing my cellulite-y legs. I even cut the size label out of my cardigans and jumpers in case my friends saw. I felt ashamed to be The Big Girl.

I don't know what's changed all of a sudden but I don't care anymore. I would stand in the middle of the high street and shout that I, Tilly, wear size 14-16 clothes and I don't care who knows it.

Admittedly, I have recently lost half a stone but (and please no one hate me for this) I haven't been trying to. Maybe all that "puppy fat" everyone else lost in year 6 is on it's way out.

I stood in front of the big mirror in my cousin's bathroom 4 days ago and I felt content. I don't mind the fact I have cellulite, I don't care that I have stretch marks on my belly. I'm over the fact I have hips that go out and back in "the wrong places".

I know self-love is something a lot of young people struggle with and I've complied a teeny list of things you can try to begin your journey to looking in the mirror and thinking "Yep. I look okay".

  1. Self acceptance - The first and MOST IMPORTANT STEP is this one. It's also, however, the hardest. Before you can start to love how you look, you need to at least accept it. This is who you are. You're great just the way you've turned out. If there are things you want to change and they're (in your eyes) achievable, by all means go for it. If it'll bring you one step closer to accepting the wonderful person you are, it's worth it.
  2. It's all about baby steps - Don't expect it to happen overnight. I wore a bikini in front of my friends for the first time three years ago. Take it a step at a time and take as long as you need.
  3. Don't compare yourself to others - This one really speaks for itself. Don't worry about what the people around you look like. We're not all made from the same mould. If we all looked the same life would be boring. Also, I'm sure a movie or a book has been based on that idea. Yawnsville.
  4. Get some decent role models - Ladies this is mostly for you (from my personal experience). Start looking up to people who can really help you make a change to your outlook on life. Ignore the "plus size" models in the magazines and the actresses in movies. Look further afield. I've recently been so inspired by Gracie (uglyfaceofbeauty on youtube). I used to watch her beauty videos - the first one I ever saw was her "Blind Makeup" video; hilarious - but more recently I've found her a vital source for finding that inner happiness. She's a wonderful role model for us "plus sized" girls and, most recently, posted her first ever full body, bikini photos on her instagram. I would love to have the huge levels of confidence she does. Also she's not afraid to say when's she having a bad day which is equally important as showing off that confidence. The second person who I look up to is - shocker - Louise. Sprinkle of Glitter. She's just wonderful. She's fully accepted the way she is and isn't afraid to flaunt what she's got. She's helped me so much in the last 3 years, I owe her everything. Finally my friend Molly has always been so confident and inspiring, I wish I was more like her, (I'll ask her if she minds if I link her in so you can get some of her greatness - it really rubs off on you) LOVE YOU MOL. EDIT: here's the link to her body positivity tag on her tumblr. And here's her "face tag", aint she a beaut.
I think that's everything. One again, this got longer and deeper than I wanted it to but it's something extremely important and close to my heart.
Just remember, you are absolutely perfect as you are, don't change for anyone. 


Lots of love! Thanks for reading!

Plugs
Follow me on bloglovin' for updates or something; on twitter for annoying insights into my life that I think are hilarious, and here's my instagram, just for good measure.


I Want To Be A Part Of It

Yay New York post part 2!
Is anyone even enjoying these? Please let me know...

So on-wards on upwards.

The next day was my 21st birthday. !!!! What??!!!!! I'm getting old, save me.
I was awake early because of my inability to deal with jetlag and it felt very weird to not be running into my parent's room. Yes even at the ripe old age of 21 I will still do that. I knew my mum was still asleep so I crept past her into the bathroom (is this TMI?) and when I came out NOT 5 MINUTES LATER, she was awake and had laid out cards and presents and balloons and a banner on the trunk at the end of her bed. I am still so perplexed about how I didn't notice any of this going on.

I started my birthday in true style - watching Saved By The Bell and eating pretzel M&M's.

The plan for that day was to rent bikes in Central Park and then see a show in the evening. What I hadn't realised was that 90% of Broadway shows have Mondays off. After lots and lots of discussion of what we were going to try for, we decided to go the Gershwin and see if they maybe had any tickets for Wicked available for any of the days we were there. Oh man. Walking into the Gershwin. It was like the mothership calling me home. 


We managed to get tickets in the centre of the "Orchestra" seats - the stalls to all us Brits - for the next night and I cried there and then. In the Lobby of a theatre. Low point. Since it was a "dark" day there was only about 3 other people in there so we went over and starting talking to the girl on the merch stall. I think I found my soulmate in her. We literally spent about half an hour talking about everything we love about the show and about Idina and Norbert. I even let slip that I've watched the As Long As You're Mine proshot on YouTube about a thousand times (I wish that was an exaggeration).

So from then it was up to the bike hiring place and onto Central Park. Before this I hadn't ridden a bike in probably nearly 10 years and I was petrified of falling off immediately but those people are right; YOU NEVER LOSE IT. Before I knew it I was speeding off round the "roads". Are they considered roads? In a park?! America is weird. JUST KIDDING I LOVE IT THERE TAKE ME BACK.

Here look at this fetching picture of me on my biiicycle. Stylin'.



So the park is beautiful. I cannot describe how much I loved it. It is crazy that in the middle of a mega busy city like New York, there is this wonderful, serene park. Madness! There were a few landmarks my mum and I wanted to see (from films of course, we are so cultured). The first was the boathouse from 27 Dresses. I don't know if that's what it's even called but here it is.

And then directly opposite it is this fountain/statue from every other film set in Central Park ever? Maybe? Whatever it is; it's pretty.
Look at that nun. So happy.

The one part of the park I was desperate to see what the Bow Bridge. I'm gonna talk about Glee again, I'm sorry. I was on a one-woman mission to stand in as many of the same places as Lea Michele as possible. And it's a lovely bridge. 

It took forever to get there but when I did I was in my ultimate happy place.
I am actually on the bridge in this picture, but I'm so tiny in it. If you spot me you win a prize.

For some reason, I was alone on the bridge for a long time before my mum joined me and so I took the opportunity to reply to birthday texts.

Of course, I also took a selfie here. I carved my initials and date into the wall, as so many others had done before me and felt so very content to be in my favourite place on such a special day.
"Lea Michele stood here, Mum!!"

The rest of the day involved a lot of cycling and my VERY FIRST (rock solid) SNOWCONE! America is great.

For dinner, we went to Ellen's Stardust Diner. Let me tell you about this place. Number 1: great food. Number 2: EVERYONE SINGS. The waiters are all trained (?) and hopeful broadway stars and every few minutes they sing. They climb onto the booths and tables and they sing. I was in heaven. 

I had my first legal (in America) Cosmo and our waitress let slip to the others that it was my birthday and before I knew it the entire restaurant was singing "Happy Birthday" to me. I hate attention like that but I couldn't help but smile. It's a truly wonderful place to be I cannot recommend it more. 

Just as quickly as it came around, my birthday was over. 22's got a lot to live up to.

On Tuesday, we made the decision to do Bloomingdale's, Macy's and everything in between. Literally. They're at opposite ends of the city almost. Unfortunately, Tuesday was also the day the heavens decided to open. I was a grumpy cat indeed. The walk from our hotel to Bloomingdale's felt like eternity as I was continually splashed by cars driving through puddles and I was desperate to get into the warmth of the department store. When we FINALLY reached the doors, however, it was closed for another half an hour. It was a very pressing time for everyone involved. 

Tiny hiccup aside, it turned out to be a good day. It stopped raining and Bloomie's let us in. The woman at the Clarin's counter told me I was beautiful and gave us so many freebies. We were in there for what felt like hours and I was desperate to buy something just to get a "little brown bag". I bought a pencil case. Because I really needed one. Of course.

Then we started our long long long long walk to Macy's, stopping only at Grand Central Station. 

Truth time: I only wanted to see it because of my love for the movie Madagascar. I don't think I got a single decent photo in there because I kept forgetting how the flash on my camera worked - what a n00b.


It's a beautiful station though; you wouldn't see marble like that in Euston.




When we came out of the station I was confused as to why everyone around me was taking photos of something behind me. Like the idiot I am I didn't realise that the Chrysler Building was right there.

Wow, that framing is really something. 

The architecture in New York was one of my favourite parts. It's also all my mum could talk about. I quote, "everything looks so different to each other".

Everything is so iconic, I kept having to spend a few minutes at a time just staring at it to make sure it was real.




The walk to Macy's is long, but I would do it all again to be honest. Nothing compares to everything you see on the way.

We hadn't taken into account what we would pass along the way, we just knew where to turn and when.

Somehow we found ourselves outside the New York Library.
Traffic is annoying. Can't they just stop for one minute?


Then, slightly further down the way was this other place, you might have heard of it, called the Empire State Building. It's quite unknown I think.


Honestly though, I kept being so surprised to suddenly be outside such famous landmarks, I didn't know what to do with myself. 

What felt like 10 hours of walking later, we arrived at Macy's. To tell the truth, we were only there for the Christmas floor. We could not find it. The signs told us to go to one floor but when we got there, it was all women's clothing. My stubbornness paid off for once here and I refused to leave empty handed and I eventually found a hidden wooden (very creepy) escalator that took us up to festive paradise. 



Needless to say, after all the walking and excitement, the long walk back to the hotel was a no-no and I got to have the full NYC experience with a journey in a yellow cab. 

Then, it was Wicked time.

LOOK AT THESE SEATS. I AM STILL IN SHOCK.

Wicked is my favourite musical of all time. Elphaba is my favourite musical character. New York is my favourite city. This was big. 

I was having a bet with myself about how long it would take me to cry and I was pretty much bang on. Overture. The music at the very beginning when the lights go down got me. It was only a tear or two but still; I was crying within seconds. I calmed myself down and was fine until Elphaba (played by Christine Dwyer) came bounding onto stage. Then it was all downhill. I managed to keep it together for the majority of the first half, until it happened. Defying Gravity. I lost it completely. The intermission comes directly after that (uhh spoilers?) and for those 15-20 minutes I was in an emotional daze. I couldn't even decide what drink I wanted. I could barely speak. The second act I was a goner from start to finish. Don't get me started on As Long As You're Mine and For Good. I was a mess. The walk back to the hotel afterwards was a complete blur. I was so so happy but drained of all emotions. How often do you get to tick off seeing your favourite musical in the place it all started?

Wednesday was our last full day and we had our open top bus tour of the city. I have so many photos from this day but I'm only going to post my favourites!

I said earlier about the architecture in the city, and my favourite building has always been the Flat Iron Building. I don't know why, it just is. When I saw it coming round the corner, I grabbed my mums arm out of excitement. 

I just love it. 

We made our way further and further south and saw Wall Street protesters, as well as the Bull (and lots of people surrounding it, touching it all over for good luck...or something) and we got off at the pier near Lady Liberty herself.

My mum doesn't do well on boats so we decided not to do the ferry tour, but seeing the famous statue from the other side of the river was good enough for me.


A few blocks away is the site of the 9/11 memorial. I can't describe it. It's so peaceful and thought provoking. I was only 8 when it happened but I still remember it clear as day. I felt emotional just being there and I didn't know any of the victims. I can't imagine what it must be like there for their families.




What I didn't expect to see are dedications on the walls to women "and their unborn child".When I saw that, I went cold. 

As we were leaving, I heard my mum gasp and I was aware she was no longer walking with me. I looked back to see what had happened and she was in tears. She'd spotted the name of someone she knew. We both knew he had lost his life in the attacks but I don't think either of us expected to spot his name. 



We took some time after this to collect our thoughts, get a coffee and then we were back on the bus to the Rockefeller Center. 

I could feel Jimmy Fallon's presence, let me tell you. 

We were booked on to go to the Top of the Rock observation deck which I'd been looking forward to the entire week. The lift ride to the top was horrifically fast for someone with an irrational fear of heights like me, but once I was out and on solid ground, it was 100% worth it. 


I still look at these photos and I can't believe I took them. They look like something I've ripped out of a magazine or taken off the internet. How can a city so grey be so beautiful to me?

A month or so before we left, my mum's friend gifted us with tickets to see Aladdin. I have to admit, it's never been my favourite Disney movie so I didn't know how I was going to feel about it. Luckily, it just so happens to be one of the greatest shows in the entire world. James Monroe Iglehart, who plays the Genie is incredible. His voice and stage presence are spectacular. I would fly back at the drop at the hat just for the 3 hours to see him in that once more. Rumours are flying around about it being brought to the West End and, if that's really happening, I hope they bring him with it. 

How often can you say you saw not only the original Broadway cast of what i'm sure will be a long-running success, but also a TONY WINNER in the role he won it for?! 

Then, the next day, we had to leave. We spent the morning reading in the park (sounds boring but I did not want to leave that spot) and all of a sudden it was time for our taxi and I was back over the pond.

I literally ache with missing New York and I have done since the second I stepped off the plane in horrid, cold, Heathrow.

And its 1.30am again. Wow. This is great going.

I chose the titles for these posts from the famous song "New York, New York" - obviously. The one I chose for part one - "my little town blues are fading away" - is my absolute favourite. WARNING Y'ALL ITS ABOUT TO GET DEEP. I'd had a rough few years, personally, and being in New York, fulfilling so many dreams at once, made everything I'd been through disappear. It was the beginning of what's shaping out to be the best year I've had in a long while and I cannot wait to go back someday soon (I hope!).

Thank you for reading these. Please honestly let me know if you like this kind of thing. I know I've somehow slipped into talking about deep, serious things but I want to be more upbeat and let my personality shine through. I'd love any ideas for future posts so let me know in the comments section below!

Finally, (sorry plug) follow me on bloglovin to be updated when I post anything. Ayo.


My Little Town Blues Are Melting Away

It's been over seven months since I spent my 21st birthday in New York City and, honestly, not a second goes past that I don't ache with missing it. Going there was a absolute dream come true and there's so much I haven't told people about. As a way of easing myself back into blogging, I thought I would finally recap my week in The Big Apple.

We flew in on Saturday September 13th and after what felt like the longest 8 hours of me entire life, I finally saw the Manhattan skyline come into view. As I made out the Empire State Building and Chrysler building, the tears started. I was so overwhelmed that I'd finally made it to the place I had literally dreamed about going to for years.

I don't deal well with jet lag so the rest of that afternoon was a sleepy blur and I was in bed by 7pm. The one thing we did manage to do before I passed out was wearily walk the 6 blocks down to Times Square. It was a very surreal moment for me. I don't think my already-asleep brain registered what was happening.


Luckily the next morning I woke up more that aware of where I was. We'd booked ourselves onto a bus tour of movie and TV film sights around the city and I was so excited. Behind-the-scenes stuff like that is such a guilty pleasure of mine and some of my favourite TV shows were filmed there so I knew this would be a great day for me.


We were up and ready too early for the bus so we went into Times Square again (this time as an awake and chirpy version of myself). Even at 8.30am it's bustling. One big thing I wanted to do was to sit on The Big Red Steps. Anyone who knows me will know I'm a sucker for Glee and ever since they filmed here I've wanted to stand where Lea Michele stood. Except I sat.

Sitting there watching the world go by may sound like an odd way to spend a morning but it finally gave me a moment to take it all in. I got to see with my own eyes what I've seen in movies and on TV so many times before. I got to see Rupert Grint and Stockard Channing on the same billboard poster. I watched the neon lighted advertising screens change over and over again and it was perfect.

Every day we'd walk through Times Square it was packed. They were doing some kind of building/maintenance/who knows what work towards the south end which meant being almost shepherded into too-small spaces with what felt like 1000 other people.

I also don't know what happened to people when they got into Times Square but it's as if they lost all logic when it came to walking in public. I cannot tell you the number of times someone cut diagonally across me for no real reason. Sometimes for fun they'd go back again!






Admittedly, once we were on the bus for the tour, there were a lot of locations I didn't know. Our first official stop was at Washington Square Park. Whilst most people were posing for pictures in front of A DOOR (from I, Robot...I think?) I was mesmerised by the famous arch.






It's one of the iconic places in the city that really reminded me of where I was. It sounds weird but I did keep having to remind myself. I felt instantly at home and comfortable here.


Our guide gave us 5/10 minutes to enjoy the park and I stood and stared at the One World Trade Centre (which is just beyond the park) for a while but then everyone started taking photos in front of the arch.

And so here I am, being obnoxious as per.







After the arch we went to SoHo and I spent $80 in Old Navy whilst everyone else from the bus seemed to disappear into Dash. One thing I found really odd was that on our map for that area was the apartment Heath Ledger lived in before he died. Now, I loved him as much as the next guy but why would that be a Place To Go? I felt weird just being in the vicinity of it, let alone being outside. And what would you do when you got there? Take a photo of yourself smiling in front of it? It's surely disrespectful?

Then our bus broke down. Woo.

I wish I'd been more excited for the next part because it was a big deal for everyone else.
We went to the Ghostbuster's fire station. I didn't even know that was a thing.

One really touching part of this though was one of the plaques to the side of the door dedicated it to a fire fighter who lost his life saving others during 9/11. 



So nothing could really prepare me for what was next. At the very start of the tour, we went past The Plaza and our guide casually dropped in that the building just down the street was where Chandler Bing worked. OH OK. 

I could practically hear the interlude music.

Our guide (I've completely forgotten his name and it's driving me crazy) kept teasing about going to the FRIENDS area and kept saying it was coming up. To be honest it's all I really wanted out of this tour. Finally we pulled over and were told to follow him through the streets of Greenwich Village.

I cannot describe how happy I felt to come round the corner to see this.


I keep making references to New York feeling like "home" but this is probably where I felt it the most. This intersection was so familiar to me I felt like I'd been there many times before. Which I had. Through the magic of television.


I keep typing and retyping something to describe this photo but it honestly doesn't seem real. I feel like this is photoshopped.

I know I stood there. I know I pulled this stupid "ta-da!" pose. I know I then took a selfie and instagrammed it with the caption "off to hang out with some FRIENDS" but it just feels weird that this really happened to me.

Chances are none of the cast ever actually stood there but I've never felt connected to those 6 people who have been in my life constantly for the last 15+ years


For fear of getting too deep, ONTO THE NEXT PART!






That was pretty much the end of the tour so we started making our way back to Times Square. I don't know why but seeing Radio City Music Hall was one of the most surreal moments. It made me extremely excited to be outside it but I felt like I was on a film set next to just a replica.


After this we had to go pick up tickets for yet another tour, the pick-up point for this just so happened to be in the entrance for Madame Tussaudes....and we decided to go in. Might as well!! When in Rome! YOLO!!!! (I shuddered, I'm so sorry for that one)

I didn't anticipate this being so long and its nearly 1.30am so I'm going to cut this run-down of the best week of my life in half right here. 

Part two will be up soon but for now I will leave you with this photo of me and waxwork Tyra Banks WERKIN' IT GURL.

Easy, Breezy, Beautiful. Dream come true.




**I realise this is no where near relevant anymore but I want to document it before my memories begin to fade and it feels like nothing but a dream. Also, who doesn't love a good reminisce?**

You Only Live Once

Before you start hideously judging me for the title of this post, DON'T. I will never forgive Drake for tarnishing that phrase.

When "YOLO" first started floating around it made me cringe. Not even Zac Efron getting it tattooed on his perfect body could swing me round to saying it out loud. But then something happened and I started using it ironically; "yolo, am I right?" But as with many internet trends, it soon became unironic and yolo was part of my day to day vocabulary. But rather than using it as an excuse to do something idiotic (and Vine it, probably), I genuinely have begun to live by this phrase.

Obviously when it comes to big things or situations that could potentially mean spending a lot of money, I'm wary about what I'm doing butI don't see the point in wasting time umm-ing and ahh-ing over pretty menial decisions.

If I hadn't starting using this mindset, there are so many opportunities I would have missed. When the chance to go to the YouTube Space for the Rocks That Bleed screening, I knew I'd more than likely have to go alone but YOLO. If I'd chickened out and stayed in, I wouldn't have met Jack and Bertie and Sammy and realised my fear of Ben Cooks carries into real life (soz Ben love you but you scare me).

Recently I have been slipping back into my old ways, deciding to be safe and do nothing rather than go out of my comfort zone for fear of it not working out. Not any more. I spoke of fresh starts in my last post and when I go back to uni next Monday I'm going to try to say "yes" to more things. I said yes to being on a quiz team with people I only knew in passing and now I'd consider them good friends. It pays off to be reckless.

Because of this I've also become a lot more confident in social situations. At school my friendship group was made up of 19 girls and within that were some huge personalities. I always found myself slipping into the background and watching it all happen, saying very little (if anything at all). However, a few weeks ago I went to dinner with (an albeit smaller), group and didn't let them dominate the conversations. I slipped in whenever I felt like it - whereas I would normally keep these ideas to myself - and it paid off! A WIN FOR THE SOCIALLY ANXIOUS.

Also one of my favourite bond movies is You Only Live Twice. Coincidence? Probably not.

I'm going to leave it there, we're off out for an Easter drink soon. I hope you all have a great Easter Sunday, whatever your beliefs.

All I've eaten today is chocolate. It's 1pm. YOLO, am I right?

Thanks for reading!